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Amy Gerstler

He picked me up at a greasy spoon     made eyes at me

invited me back to his pad     where we smoked some rad

Alcapulco gold in our birthday suits     cut to the next day

we split his crib     lit out for the nearest watering hole

knocked back a few zingers     and he starts giving me the 3rd degree

whereupon I advised him to butt out pronto     he lights up a cancer stick

butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth and get a load of this collossal nerve

he tried to put the bite on me right there in the speakeasy

for a hundred clams     like I would ever have that kind of dough

you can bet your sweet ass     I told him where to go

he said well don’t have kittens about it and I hauled off let him have it

right in the kisser     that’s basically all she wrote     he wigged out

went ape     busted up the place     the barkeep called the long arm of the law

and before you could say Jack Robinson they’d hauled

my new squeeze off to the hoosegow     damages will cost him

an arm and a leg when he gets out of the slammer

serves him right the two faced galoot     the crumb     the no good souse

keeping my eyes peeled I noticed a hunky Hercules in blue

he waved his nightstick at me     gave me the once over

chatted me up     turns out he was on the level     got me all starry eyed

and weak in the knees     he’s got two left feet sure     but what a sweet

puss on him     it’ll be a cold day in Hades before I take a powder

on this crewcut Romeo, this dreamboat in uniform (he’s square

as the day is long but his heart’s in the right place) believe you me.

Amy Gerstler

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