I Am Too Ugly to Have an Affair

I am too ugly to have an affair
is probably what people think to themselves
just before they have one,
to prove that they aren't.
I'm too old, too boring —
as if those are things that contradict lust.
When lust is instead all those things and more:
hideous, ancient, mundane.
Instead, think I've done it all —
even if you haven't. You've done enough.