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My Face

Dave Newman

Men who use pick up lines are pathetic.
Worse: the guy who tries to use not
having a pick-up line as a pick-up line.
I’m a beggar. I get down and weep.
The last woman I slept with was a dark cloud.
I got down on my knees. I wept.
If I could change one thing about
my face, it would be my bank account.

Dave Newman

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