Bill Harris (Beastiophile)

A human mutant often found in barnyards, especially in East Texas, Arkansas, Oklahoma and Maine. Defining physical characteristic: Stooped posture, caused by repeated attempts to attain eye contact during coitus with chickens. Speaks with strong regional accent, usually, and is often a stutterer. Diet consists of: chicken, and, in many cases, its own semen. Completely harmless to humans, with whom it has little contact. No natural enemies, except, occasionally, roosters (and, of course, chickens). Other activities include: drooling.