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Ape Man (Macholnimannun)

Jonah Winter

An ape-like creature that consumes vast quantities of beer and walks upright with outspread legs and swinging arms. Very hairy and broad-chested. One of the least intelligent beasts in the History of Earth. Often seen congregating in groups of 3 or more, outside construction sites, during lunch-breaks. Diet consists of beef, pork-products, potatoes, chips and nuts, Buffalo wings and beer. Often belches and farts as bizarre mating ritual. A predatory animal whose main prey is women with low self-esteem. Also preys on small and/or sensitive men, especially in the context of subway cars, truck stops, bars, men’s rooms, city sidewalks and sports complexes.

Jonah Winter

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